Thursday, December 25, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Everybody's High on Consolation
He's gone. More on this after I take my Bio final, when we have time to discuss Daryl Hall being a better actor than Jon Stewart, and shaved Oates still being the weirdest thing ever. Though not as bad as when he first shaved it, and his lip was shiny enough to be currency.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Catfish Dancing at the End of My Line
The first thing you should know is that everything really is fried. It really is the restaurant no one goes to, and the crowd of people inside (Jesus Mary is it really 1 PM already?) are all paid actors, but not well paid. At least that's what you hope, but there is really no way to describe the looks of dread and suspicion on the faces of those inside, you wouldn't ever have wanted to see a movie it could be compared to, it's just a straight anteroom to hell.
jesus everything is so expensive, no one will approve when the government bails out Long John Silvers. There are balloons, from a child's birthday party maybe, and the plaque board long ago stopped caring who the employee of the month is, or what month it is. The counter is high and the soda is behind the barricade and the servers are cruel like nurses.
You've earned yourself a walk home today, young man. You're already losing it a little bit, but Long Johns is the place you go to help you realize how easy it would be to go insane again. It was a mistake too, only so many more of them before those New Year's resolutions. Long John Silvers is like the terrible relationship that makes you wish you'd tried a little harder with the love of your life, which is in this case is right across the street, has pretty good coffee, and a newspaper stand. Your bag will get soaked on the way home, and as you walk you'll want to see sea shanties but the rain still sticks to your face.
ATMOSPHERE: F
FOOD: C
Battle Bots
This is why I love the military. I can think of no practical purpose for this, other than to fight terrorists who are inside a batting cage. Clearly more R&D people at Defense contractors are getting high than I realized, and probably watching Luke's helmet training scene in Star Wars and thinking it'd be better if that thing had machine guns instead of lasers. It also has a nice Cyberdyne leading into SkyNet vibe to it, and I hope to see a lot of them on the street soon. If only we'd had this in '36 we could have killed Hitler. We could have done a lot of things.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
It's Britney, Bitte
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!
There's something so much more charming about these German Music Awards. Which are clearly taking place on a cruise ship. My Deutsch is a little rusty, but I might translate approximately:
"Awhile ago the song Hit Me Baby, One More Time got me into a lot of trouble. It ruined my marriage in fact! It's been a strange few years here in Germany, and for Britney as well. When I was young, my father told me of the glorious new nation that would be created by Der Fuhrer, but then the Americans came with their bombs and their rock and roll and shattered my dreams. And now they are back, with their new psycho jungle kind of pop music. Please welcome a woman who until recently was not insane enough to make it as a pop star in Europe, ladies and gentleman- Britney Spears!"
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
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