Polish the Oscar

Film Year Haiku

Some site was having people post haikus about the Golden Globes, which of course is retarded. So naturally, I spent 20 minutes on it:

Even though we all know
Dark Knight’s better than all the rest
Just pretend, yeah?

The Curious Case
of why no one thought to cast
Johnny instead

Some of the Asians
In Slumdog, and all of them
In Clint, can’t act

Mickey is cleaned up
And he’s dating your daughter
Not cool? Rourke: “Fuck you”

Milk, the story of
The greatest gay rights leader
No homo in it

In Bruges, what the fuck?
Dumped in February, why?
Saw it with my dad

WALL-E, not awesome
Valkyrie, not awful, good
WALL-kyrie- band name

Frost/Nixon, tense
But they are still no match for
Pierce/His singing coach

There Will Be Blood, Once
Zodiac, No Country; still
better than all ‘08

Brad Pitt is Becoming the Weirdly Handsome Dad in Ohio Who Gives Directions While He's at McDonalds Since It's His Day With His Kids

Best Video of 2008

LOL

I'm a little bit confused about hiring Bill Richardson to play Ahmadinejad.

Merry Christmas

Everybody's High on Consolation

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Hall & Oates Pay Tribute to Alan Colmes

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

He's gone. More on this after I take my Bio final, when we have time to discuss Daryl Hall being a better actor than Jon Stewart, and shaved Oates still being the weirdest thing ever. Though not as bad as when he first shaved it, and his lip was shiny enough to be currency.

Catfish Dancing at the End of My Line

The first thing you should know is that everything really is fried. It really is the restaurant no one goes to, and the crowd of people inside (Jesus Mary is it really 1 PM already?) are all paid actors, but not well paid. At least that's what you hope, but there is really no way to describe the looks of dread and suspicion on the faces of those inside, you wouldn't ever have wanted to see a movie it could be compared to, it's just a straight anteroom to hell.

jesus everything is so expensive, no one will approve when the government bails out Long John Silvers. There are balloons, from a child's birthday party maybe, and the plaque board long ago stopped caring who the employee of the month is, or what month it is. The counter is high and the soda is behind the barricade and the servers are cruel like nurses.

You've earned yourself a walk home today, young man. You're already losing it a little bit, but Long Johns is the place you go to help you realize how easy it would be to go insane again. It was a mistake too, only so many more of them before those New Year's resolutions. Long John Silvers is like the terrible relationship that makes you wish you'd tried a little harder with the love of your life, which is in this case is right across the street, has pretty good coffee, and a newspaper stand. Your bag will get soaked on the way home, and as you walk you'll want to see sea shanties but the rain still sticks to your face.

ATMOSPHERE: F
FOOD: C

Battle Bots

This is why I love the military. I can think of no practical purpose for this, other than to fight terrorists who are inside a batting cage. Clearly more R&D people at Defense contractors are getting high than I realized, and probably watching Luke's helmet training scene in Star Wars and thinking it'd be better if that thing had machine guns instead of lasers. It also has a nice Cyberdyne leading into SkyNet vibe to it, and I hope to see a lot of them on the street soon. If only we'd had this in '36 we could have killed Hitler. We could have done a lot of things.